”You might as well stick to this one till the end” said my aunt, out of good well, when I was with her on the phone discussing my recent engagement announcement. It was my second time to get engaged, and in the Arab communities (usually) this is frowned upon. You get engaged, you get married. No turning back...
When I got engaged the first time, it was through family connections. Honestly, no one forced me to get engaged. But, I was 25 at the time and I felt “obliged” to be in a committed relationship. I do not know where I got the idea that in your mid twenties you have to start a home and find a husband. It could be the stereotypes I read, and hear about on daily bases, but I can assure you that it did not come from my family.
I tried to get to know my partner. But, I felt that while I am getting to know him, I got to not recognize myself. Every day I spent talking to him, I felt that I am burying myself a bit more. I wanted to discover life, I was still young, life was bigger than him in my eyes. So, I took the decision. I broke the engagement.
Luckily, my family was on my side. So, it was an easy process. Do not get me wrong. He was a great guy, but he was not meant to be in my life, at that time. As soon as I broke it off, I felt relived. I was ready to embark my life without “attachments” I was not ready to have.
Years later, I am 29 now. I am still exploring myself, and getting to know me again. Yes, I am battling against community, cultural standards, and time. But, with my supportive circle, I know that I am going to make it. Regardless, of how hard the road might be.
Love is amazing, but it should not be forced. It will come in the right time, with the right person. If we chase it, it will run away. If we wait for it, it will pass us by. So, we just need to live with it and it will pay us back in the most marvelous ways.
We are all warriors in a wasteland called “society”. If we do not get up and show up, we will slowly die and fade away in the echoes of the noises around us. There is more to life than what your naked eye can see. Seize it, before it is too late to even enjoy it.
Keep battling on. One day, you’ll celebrate all your victories. One victory at the time.
Inner Time Warrior