This is yet another affirmation post about how does it feel to accept and love who you are. Not, yet another, a motivational blog post that you can easily find online or on any life coach website - rather it is a blog post that is coming from a living experience that I am going through every day. Self-love, and validation, may sound like an easy concept to fulfill but it is harder than it sounds. It does not take hours, days, months, or even years - it can take up a lifetime to achieve. The secret remains in our strength and will to keep doing the best we could at all times without getting stopped by any obstacle we may face along the way.
Self Validation takes determination and hard work. I am, personally, still on my journey and I can't even say that I am halfway there - but what counts in my case, and it will count with any one of you, is that I am trying and I am not giving up. It is hard to accept who you are and to embrace yourself without feeling the need to validate that with the outside world. We do not live alone, we are surrounded by other people, however - it is up to us who we shall give worth and value and who we should not care less about what they think of us. But, above all, we should think the best way we could about our own selves. Accept it, love it - with it flaws before its good traits because if we do not, we can't expect any other person to love us.
I, and guessing, many of you too, do the mistake of loving others without loving themselves. That is a trap and it is usually a disastrous one! for this one, I will share with you a quote which keeps changing my perspective about love every time I read it:
“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person--without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.”
We have to learn to love ourselves by being alone to be able to give love to others without the need to feel fully dependent on the love they give us.
Self-validation can take a lifetime, and through the way, you may have many setbacks - do not let that stop you or demotivate you. Keep moving forward and keep saying:
"I am who I am.
I am worth it, despite my mistakes and flaws - I AM STILL WORTH IT.
I shall accept me for me, not for anyone else. I shall change because I need to change not because the world told me to.
I will be the best version of myself every day because I owe that to myself.
I will not be stopped by my own mind nor by any de-motivation I may face.
I will keep going, I will keep moving forward. If I am not who I want to be, then I will be on the path which leads right to where I want to be."
It is hard, but I believe, with a little bit of faith, a dash of hope, a spoon of determination and loads, and loads of strength - everything is do-able and possible.