2020 Rambles


So, yesterday I have completed - yet - another year on this earth. Every year, for me, it is different than the other. Not sure if it is a blessing or a curse, but something ought to be happening around my birthday. This year, the most hated creature happened to exist while I was waking up into another year in my existence. Yes, you guessed it right, COVID-19.


To be honest, I am getting used to its' existence in my life. It is like a breakup phase, you first deny it, get depressed over it, ignore it, then you try to move on with it. The process does not eradicate the fact that you did go through a breakup, but it makes it easier for your mind to comprehend. The same can be said to grasping the current of what's happening around us nowdays. You go through stages, or at least that's what I am going through.


Denial

It all happens so suddenly and in a continuous sequence. One day you were having coffee with a friend or in my case, enjoying a ride in a theme park, and the next you are sitting with your mouth half open and your eyes glued to your T.V. listening to the anchor announcing the appearance of a deadly virus. First, you try to grasp it all in, you trying swallowing your food while you are pretending that the news is not a concern to you. You wonder why a person decided that it is okay to eat a bat and say to yourself "I might try it one day, seems like an adventure." your brain is trying to be funny and play games with you. You switch off the T.V and continue your day like nothing is happening.


Truth Bomb

You wake up with yet another announcement- the coffee shop you were at a couple of days ago is shutting down, the theme park is closed till further notice, your brother is telling you that your plans for the summer are canceled, and your government is saying is better to stay home than to go out. You just listen and nod, trying to understand what's going on. You try and protest, but then you tell yourself "what good will that bring? the world is still upside down." Your brain begins to process the information thrown at you in every direction. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. It's all too much for you to handle. You are living through a... pana.... you can't bring yourself to say it. But, it is what it is, you are living through a pandemic.


Hello Depression, My Old Friend

Okay, but you are already suffering from anxiety and depression as is. This is terrible, it will do more harm than good. You meditate, be active, do everything and anything to escape your mind. People echoing worries and telling you "we are all feeling the same. and we are all going downhill." does not help you one bit. You switch off everything, even yourself. This can't be happening, you just started to pick yourself up after years of feeling down. How's this fair. Your brain is making you its prisoner and you are gladly kneeling to it at your own well. You take your antidepressants, do a task or two, and wonder "shall I make peace of it and live it on?" this can't be it, and you slowly begin to skull and sink deeper into your pillow.


Moving Along The COVID

That's fine - so it is there and it is part of our lives now. I went out on my birthday with a mask on and never felt more awkward but hey, at least I got to see the streets. So, you decide to do the same and tolerate that creature for a bit. I take pleasure in writing and creating art and artifacts, you take leverage of your social media platforms to connect with people so you do not go insane. You think that routering news is the way to go for now. And you think that calling out people who break the rules is God's well. Whatever your coping mechanism might be, we are all agreeing on the fact that it is what it is and we need to live and survive through it. Just like a nasty case of heartbreak.


Sometimes, just like this one, a well-being blog does not have to be all about light and meditation. Sometimes it needs to state things as they are and hit the truth cords as hard as possible. The human brain can be stubborn, and once the reality is read out loud it wakes it up from its slumber and makes it active towards the real world - not the one the brain drew inside your head. Stay afloat, and do not lose grip of the reality.


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